Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Because I'm just in that kind of a mood

Kailash Kher drives me crazy. Over and over again. There's just something rustic about his voice , and I use this phrase again, it pierces straight to the core. At least for me, it touches something deep down inside there. Polished with intensive classical 'murkiya's and "harkatein"s, yet raw and unpolished at the same time. I think a great deal of his appeal lies in the fact that his voice isn't too smooth, doesn't slide over you, but penetrates deep inside, and resounds for quite some time after. For me, personally, having a Hindustani classical connection myself, perhaps it's the inevitable semi classical element of his songs which holds a certain percentage of the appeal. But that aside, I find his voice never fails to move me. And whenever he does come out with a new song, i find it refreshing and on repeat on my playlist for a month at least, after which at some point I surface for air and  probably head back to ye old GnR =)
Why the sudden declaration of love for Kailash Kher? His new song, 'Tu jaane na ' from 'Ajab Prem ki Ghazab Kahani'. Quite obviously, I'm in love with it at the moment- in fact guess what's playing on Windows media player as I type this ..
So, the voice, of course, there's no getting away from his voice. And then, for this particular song, there are the lyrics, which let's just say have a personal connect for me, at the moment at least- you know when some lines seem to be tailor-made for you? Though, of course there are probably fifty thousand people right now who feel like this song was written for them. I leave you with the lyrics of the song while I romanticize and read my Spectrometry report for Molecular Bio Lab tomorrow. Fascinating, no =P

Kaise Batayein,
Kyu Tujh ko Chahe,
Yaara bata na Paaye

Baatein dil o ki,
Dekho Jo Baaki,
Aankhein tujhe Samjhaye

mil ke bhi,
Hum na Mile,
tumse na jaane Kyu,
Milo ke hai Fansle..

Hum pass ho ke bhi,
tum aas ho ke bhi,
ehsaas ho ke bhi…
apne nahi..
aise hai hum ko gileh..
tumse najaane kyu..

meelo ke hai fansle
tum se na jaane kyu..
tu jaane na..
Khyalon mein laakohn baatein,

yu toh keh gaya,
bola kuch na tere sahmney..
hue na begaane bhi tum hoke,
aur dekho tum mere hi na bane..
afsos hota hai,
dil bhi yeh rota hai

Sapne sanjota hoa..
pagla hua,
soche yeh..
hum the mile
tume se na jaane kyu,

meelo ke hai fansle
tum se na jaane kyu..
anjaane hai silsile,
tumse najaane kyu,
sapne hai palko tale,
tumse najaane kyu..

Kaise Batayein,
Kyu Tujh ko Chahe,
Yaara bata na Paaye

Baatein dil o ki,
Dekho Jo Baaki,
Aankhein tujhe Samjhaye

Tu Jaane Na,
Tu Jaane Na...

<3 <3

Saturday, October 24, 2009


I feel content today. Suddenly. I'm not sure why.
I ignore the fact that I have a Calculus midterm on Monday and enjoy my lazy Saturday. Saturdays come too few and far in between and end in the blink of an eye. Then back to bedlam, back the madhouse and the grind. And no, I don't work in a big city office in a dirty little town, I'm merely talking about University. No time to breathe- 24 hours not enough in a day- sleep is a luxury- confusing- consuming- University.
We had our Physics midterm yesterday. Haha. It wasn't funny. That was just the mirthless laugh of someone who knows that they're probably failing, but it's alright, because so is half the class. Considering the average last year was 40% and my psychic powers don't go as far as predicting whether a car will land 8.8 metres -or (e) none of the above- away from the edge of a cliff once it was foolish enough to fall off it in the first place, I figure I shall probably scrape through. With some luck.
Luck. I've always for some obscure reason instinctively felt like I have an extraordinary amount of luck. When I fall into a mess, it always blows over, and there are chocolate chip cookies and people along the way to tide me over it. If I want something I generally get it, be it getting into the top English department in Asia or freezing in a strange cold land far far away (eh? ). If I find myself crushing on someone, by some odd twist of fate, they generally turn out to like me back. Of course, the fact that I inevitably have to move to a land far far away, just as things are getting nice and cosy is another story. When I forget the room number of the Lab I'm running to, some kind stranger always allows the strange girl with flushed cheeks, messy hair and wild eyes to access their computer. OR maybe they're not actually kind, just scared. If want a makeup set that I'm never going to use, someone gifts it to me. Or I accidentally bump into it by mistake so that it gets chipped and then my mother has to buy it for me. If there's a movie I have been waiting to watch forever, a recently made new friend turns out to have a copy of the rare CD. When I stumble and fall, there's always someone there to pick me up. Or at least watch, cross their fingers and pray from afar. And I've always had good, no, great friends. Stumbled across them, clung on and never let go. Thankfully, they haven't complained. For some unfathomable reason they seem to like making my life happier. I have a family that's endured my erratic and confused temperament and forays into unknown territories. I have people who've got my back.
Life's good.  Yes, I've been undeniably lucky. You know how they say when you're feeling down count your blessings? Well, I just sort of did and turns out that there are way too many to count. Utter gratitude to God or lady fortune.
Fell off  to sleep last night feeling utterly unhappy with the world and with myself and where I was. You see, eavesdropping on someone saying nice things about you when they don't know you're around is infinitely nicer than hearing a group of people bitch about you. Right outside your door. Where you can hear every word. Strangely though, the first thought that struck me when they did get done with the laughter and shrieks of "Omg, yea, isn't that weird", was that this is probably a good thing, cuz it taught me never to bitch about someone. Even randomly. The girl who sits in the corner, the guy with the polka dotted pants, the one who annoyingly hangs around trying to be friends. Cuz even the people who don't matter, do matter. I know that this sounds cliched, but it's sort of a 'you had to be there' thing. The resentment and embarrassment don't even come close to the hurt. So no, girls don't *have* to be bitchy. And you never know, that person could well turn out to be the next Jhumpa Lahiri or Marie Curie. Or you know, Superman!
Another thing I've discovered is "Buri nazar" really does work. Just the other day, a floormate of mine commented on my clear skin saying " I don't get it, what do you do, your face is completely clear". I replied with the fact that I had no routine unless forgetting to wash your face, 3 cups of coffee and last minute late nights counted. Also, no make-up. The next day I developed a pimple. After more than three months. I don't generally get pimples, having been blessed with clear skin. But when I do, ye Gods, it's going to be just the one pimple. Huge and painful. And most importantly, prominent. I couldn't feel more awkward and unnattractive if I was walking around with a Rudolph style red nose. Goddamn that, 'buri nazar'. On hindsight I realize, that you're probably not supposed to discuss acne on a public blog, but oh, what the hell. It's  my blog and I've never exactly been very politically correct.
I spoke to a good friend today. A best friend actually. We had a three and half hour conversation, punctuated with a few tears, laughter, ultrasonic squealing, "deep" discussions, sensitive issues, cries and moans and lots and lots of love. It made me happy.
Despite the ugly pimple and the shitload of work. Despite my midterms and despite them goddamn haters.
I feel the laou and I like.
<3 to the Transatlantic ting-tings, strawberry cheesecake to you all.
Gratitude to someone up there.
I'm going to do some Calculus.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Are the only reason that I need
The only reason why I breathe
For why I'm going on this way
Always hoping for a brighter day.
You’re the reason that I wish
That every wish of yours’ comes true
Are the reason
That I want to be with
I’m grateful
And I’m hoping
That soon the day will come
When I will see your face again,
And in the darkness of the day
Where comfort needs no cover of night,
In the velvet richness beneath leaves
We shall meet
And I shall spend some time
In the company of mist and dew
Blood and hurt shall fade away,
As shall tales of misery
When darling, I shall see your face
And light up with the sheer bliss
Of being close to
With every smile
And every look,
You win my heart over and over again
But darling, what is there to win,
When all of me
Belongs, you see
Words would be superfluous,
There is no need for show
My darling, wherever you may be
Is the only place I want to go.
Thoughts and dreams are very well
But I’ve been craving reality.
A place where we both can be
And no one else but me and

Saturday, October 3, 2009

2.30 a.m and I feel compelled to write

Alright, so I know this isn't original. But came across it on the net, and couldn't resist posting it. Brilliantly funny and completely sees through the most uninspired, unoriginal plot that ever captured the hearts of millions of girls, and some unfortunate guys worldwide. I believe the term used is "teenyboppers".

" 'I love you Edward Cullen' said Bella, her heart pounding as she stared at his eyes like she did every other page without fail.
'I love you too' he said, catching her as she gracefully fell over a beetle. But Edward, who ruined everything, caught her so she didn't die.
'I want to marry you, then we can have sex' she said.
Edward didn't voice his opinions about how forward that was, or that he would break her pelvis, or that because he was one hundred and seven he had
erectile dysfunction. Instead he just kissed her.
the police came and arrested him because, come on, he was ninety years older than her and it was all a bit dodgy and illegal. The end.

(You know that was better than Stephenie's Meyer's ending. You know it.)"


Side note- Stephanie Meyer is a Genius. Hallelujah. She earned big bucks with this unoriginal piece of groundbreaking disgrace to the entire vampire community- think Dracula, Lestat and vampires who don't  'sparkle'. She deserves R.E.S.P.E.C.T , right up there with a certain Paris Hilton who gained fame and celebrity for being, oh yes- rich, blonde and ditzy.
Side side note- Meyer's "Host" isn't nearly half as bad. I actually thought it came pretty near being good despite banking on a completely unrealistic predictable ending and a character that somehow manages to be an angel landed on earth, quite literally, despite being an evil mind stealing alien.

The definition of teenybopper borrowed from Urban Dictionary- I love that site!

teeny bopper

Stupid girls of ages 10-14 who squeal and giggle so much that Satan is willing to drag them back to hell. They brag about their boyfriends and show them off during lunch by sitting in a table full of shitty stupid 'couples'. They like pink and listen to stupid bubblegum pop and think they are teenagers and try to hard to act like them. They cry when they see a pimple...FOR FUCKIN SAKE ITS JUST A PIMPLE!!! IT'LL GO AWAY AND WHO THE HELL WILL CARE IF YOU HAVE A PIMPLE!!!??? They think they're all that and dress in pink, purple, mini-skirts, and T-shirts that say, 'Pop princess', or 'Ms. Attitude' and other crap like that. They like typing like this: 'l00k AnN I hAvE a NeW cElL!!! I kAn sLeEp OvEr yay!!! Like We CaN caLl up the B0iZ and pAiNt oUr naILz!!! g2g bi!!!!' it is so annoying. They think they're all that just because they have 'boyfriends'. They don't know the true definition of that word. They often write in their online journals, 'I lOvE jAsOn hE iS sO HotT I waNna Kiz hiM!!!!' When asked about their favorite hobby, they all scream like sluts, "SHOPPING!!!!"
Bopper: Hi WuSsUp hOmIe???
Me: You boppers suck serious ass. O_o

On another note, I have fallen in love with Lifehouse all over again. Admittedly my own, somewhat complicated and confused emotions that I'm too afraid to make sense of at the moment, may have something to do with it. But still, their songs are wonderful. And their lyrics, may not have the genius of Pink Floyd or change the world. But putting it in slightly corny language, they "speak to me". Make such complete sense. I've always preferred simple writing that manages to reach to the core. You don't really need great vocabulary or grandiose language to make a point or leave an imprint.
I leave you now with a few lines of theirs' .

"The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead

And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating

In the pain
Is there healing?
In your name
I find meaning

So I'm holding on
(I'm still holding)
I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be okay... "

P.S- I freaking LOVE my friends. You guys keep me alive. T.R , S.Y. You know who you are. I love you. 'Nuff said. Also to newfound friends here, who are self proclaimed family. Though I know they wouldn't have the patience to read this, means much. Much much.