Sunday, November 29, 2009

The sound of silence

She screamed. The louder she screamed, the more alive she felt. They found her, an hour later, still screaming. She was clutching the body, they said. Her hair clinging in tendrils to her face, dripping with perspiration. She screamed, oblivious of the drops running down her nose, the sweat that drenched the back of her blouse and the unforgiving shameless stares and glares of the crowd that devoured her.
It was a hollow scream that seemed to go on for days or for a second. Desperate. And loud- as though she intended to wake the boy up with it. Wake herself up from this sudden nightmare she had been thrust into.
The people gathered, the crowd grew and still she screamed. She cradled the body, the face which could not be differentiated from the mud and grime that caked it. The boy had been dug out out the manhole five minutes ago. He had fallen in more than an hour ago, when she had started screaming for help. She kept screaming down to him, reassuring him that she was still there. He was afraid of the dark. He was fond of Cadbury. He was clumsy.
She screamed. She screamed till she stopped hearing his little voice from what seemed like miles below. She screamed his name after he stopped replying. She screamed till someone called the police.
Now that he was in her arms she screamed to drown out the silence. She screamed to drown out the piteous cries echoing in her head. The crowd had started to lessen. Already they had lost interest. And still, she screamed.

17 comments:

Tangled up in blue... said...

People dont give noise the credit it is due. Not even when the seek out noise to drown out deafening silences.

This was stunning.

Riddhi G.D said...

Have definitely done that one too many times myself. Noise can become a crutch very often.
And thankyou :)Was afraid science was killing the creativity

Surreptitious Shogun said...

Nicely done.

I don't know if you value criticism, but in case you do-

"It was a horrible scream. Terrible" doesn't convey the potency of the scream. It just sounds repetitive, especially given the composition of the previous line.

Riddhi G.D said...

@Surreptitious Shogun- I do. Thankyou. And, I know, I know. My mum told me the same thing earlier this morning. Shall delete the horrible. Bear in mind that this was done at 3.30 am in the morning after an overdose of microbio lab. Will edit. Just don't know how to describe the scream
:S Not really something you can convey, right? If this was real.
P.S- Ur a good critic.

Surreptitious Shogun said...

After reading your earlier posts, I'm sufficiently convinced of your ability for evocation. Therefore, know when you feel you're unable to convey something, you're not really trying.

"Don't tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass" Chekhov.

Always, always follow this- have no other rules if you will, but this is a must.

Riddhi G.D said...

Thankyou, that's lovely advice. And i changed it for now. Might think about it properly later. Is it more effective atm?

The Girl With The Broken Smile said...

This is a good read specially for it's disturbing quality...

Riddhi G.D said...

Thankyou :) I like the thought of that!

Roshni said...

That was Potent.
You know,this post gave me a jerk that went right through my insides.
Just stunning.

Prince of Mirkwood said...

This post has made me hoarse for some reason.

Riddhi G.D said...

Maybe it has something to do with all the screaming? :P

Safdar said...

Hey, i Really like this.

Riddhi G.D said...

A capital letter, wow. Thankyou Safdar :)

Anushka said...

It's got something, this post :)
Some special quality.

Riddhi G.D said...

Thankyou Mishtu. December babies are speshul ;)

Trisha said...

i couldn't comment the first time i read this, and i told you why :(. but now. oh boy. i feel slightly traumatized and very proud of your talent, hun <3. it takes a certain intensity and depth to imagine feeling this way

Riddhi G.D said...

Thankyou Trisha <3