I sort of want to abandon this blog, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm in that odd sort of slump again, the one that resembles the vaguely annoying cousin that you're resigned to hang out with for n number of hours, since he's the only company you have at a party of adults. Somewhere along the way that metaphor got lost, bumped into walls and suffered a concussion.
Anyway.
There are ways. Meandering roads and dimly lit cafes, glitzy boutiques with names like Louis Vitton and Prada emblazoned across their walls. There are skinny Asian chicks with long black curtains of hair, a Gucci purse tucked under their leather jacket clad arm, and a Louis Vitton package dangling from a little finger. There is love and hate and the frustration that comes with a lack of space and privacy. There is Carrot juice and raspberries that go rotten within a day. There's a dull ache somewhere and a recognition of a small void. There's a new September TV schedule which brings back House, HIMYM and Gossip Girl (yes, i know >.<). There's Criminal Minds marathons every other night on television, and then there are vivid daydreams about Spencer Reid. There are cute greying, motion-impaired Italians and stuck up thong-wearing elegantly dressed Russians. There's a ruddy English guy with the accent who plays sports and pipettes with equal panache, and a Maria lookalike from SOM, who is about to get married. There are hosts of co-workers and a cushy cubicle without internet restrictions. There's my frayed bright neon green Benneton backpack which has a ginormous hole in it's side, and was my going away to college present from kuku-kuki. A dancing silver man on my spiral bound black notebook. Bison sausage on a bun with saute`ed onions and horseradish.A pair of raccoons scampering on my neighbour's balcony, looking up at me with alert beady eyes. Ignored online courses and an enticing Toronto calling out to me. Cramps and blinding migraines. The tattooes that I just can't seem to get.
This can't go on for much longer without me shooting myself. Life is good and kind of pointless right now. I should be really really happy but I've worn myself out. Stuff needs to change. And I need to snap out of whiny irritable self pity/loathing cuz they are so interchangeable. Longing for godknowswhat and waiting for godknowswhen. Snap out of it, you know? Where's the fucking motivation? Should I have just stayed back and become a stoner chick? SNAP OUT OF IT!
Anyway.
There are ways. Meandering roads and dimly lit cafes, glitzy boutiques with names like Louis Vitton and Prada emblazoned across their walls. There are skinny Asian chicks with long black curtains of hair, a Gucci purse tucked under their leather jacket clad arm, and a Louis Vitton package dangling from a little finger. There is love and hate and the frustration that comes with a lack of space and privacy. There is Carrot juice and raspberries that go rotten within a day. There's a dull ache somewhere and a recognition of a small void. There's a new September TV schedule which brings back House, HIMYM and Gossip Girl (yes, i know >.<). There's Criminal Minds marathons every other night on television, and then there are vivid daydreams about Spencer Reid. There are cute greying, motion-impaired Italians and stuck up thong-wearing elegantly dressed Russians. There's a ruddy English guy with the accent who plays sports and pipettes with equal panache, and a Maria lookalike from SOM, who is about to get married. There are hosts of co-workers and a cushy cubicle without internet restrictions. There's my frayed bright neon green Benneton backpack which has a ginormous hole in it's side, and was my going away to college present from kuku-kuki. A dancing silver man on my spiral bound black notebook. Bison sausage on a bun with saute`ed onions and horseradish.A pair of raccoons scampering on my neighbour's balcony, looking up at me with alert beady eyes. Ignored online courses and an enticing Toronto calling out to me. Cramps and blinding migraines. The tattooes that I just can't seem to get.
This can't go on for much longer without me shooting myself. Life is good and kind of pointless right now. I should be really really happy but I've worn myself out. Stuff needs to change. And I need to snap out of whiny irritable self pity/loathing cuz they are so interchangeable. Longing for godknowswhat and waiting for godknowswhen. Snap out of it, you know? Where's the fucking motivation? Should I have just stayed back and become a stoner chick? SNAP OUT OF IT!
8 comments:
First off, can I say, somebody looks like sexy Bong chick with slightly bored expression in that pikcha on the right there! :D
And thong-wearing elegantly dressed Russians! Seriously, where is this place?
And have you noticed how there's suddenly so, so many new seasons to catch up with?
And oh, Spencer Reid! Now, he's who they were thinking of when they said geek-chic! :)
And please do not abandon the blog. I shall miss it. And you!
And that lovely name it has.
Thank you! I'd add "you sexy thang" as a postscript but I have no idea what you look like! For some vague reason, I always imagine you with curly hair.
'This place' is my workplace for this sem. Mount Sinai. Very legit.
Yessss I am superexcited. Gossip Girl and HIMYM tomorrow. Total conflict of interest. And if you don't watch Modern Family already, you should get on that asap.
I'm fairly sure I'll keep at it. Mine's become a place to vent unlike yours. You somehow manage to turn out beautiful thought provoking posts even though you're clearly insanely busy. :)
Haha, I have a senior who went to Mount Sinai! And such a plain old homely greasy-haired Gujju chap he was..he was pretty scandalized I think, but he did not mention thongs in quite so many words :D
And I do have curly hair! Crazy out-of-control curly hair, actually. I am considering straightening them out some day, but maybe that'll make my ears stick out of my head too much or something.
And I love, love, love Modern Family! Is the third season starting? Aaaah, there's too, too many awesome seasons starting close together.
And thank you! :) I keep feeling guilty for not writing more often. Back when I was just a student, I used to churn out four posts a week! Here's to those days! :)
Those days indeed. I'm still going through them and nowhere Near four posts a week. I keep getting the urge to blog, but I know that if I do, I'll just wind up blurting. Some people have these standards about their blog- they won't post anything that's not a thing of beauty. And some manage to rock the whole thoughtvomit thing. So. I came up with solution- hellooo 'other blog'.
Modern Family 3rd season is already on! Maybe not on TV in India, but this is what the internets is for :D
And curly hair! I LOOOOVE curly hair. No seriously. I have poker straight brown hair and you can have it. I've been lusting over ringlets since godknowswhen
I have so many awesome episodes to download man! :D And, I am really liking the other blog haan. :) Also, trust me, grass is always greener..curly hair have the glorious disadvantage of convincing others you're a hippie who never brings a comb home. Which is cool in college but terrifying at conferences. :D
Thanks :) For some retarded reason, blogger won't let me comment on my own blog! So You've got to hide your love is one of my favourites also, but I'm really feeling 'While my guitar gently weeps' these days.
Being a hippie is still cool for me, heh. It infuriates my brother whenever I turn up at his school. He's quite the preppie.
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