Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Rant #26380

So exams are done (wut wut!) but I still have a zillion things to do, and I apologize for sounding like a sorority girl (Oh Em Gee!) but this is what END OF TERM DOES TO ME. I'm aching to do some real writing, but that shall have to wait until the end of this week or possibly next year. But I have to say this:
Why? Why do people think it is okay to talk to you while you're in the washroom? And I don't mean washing your hands in a ladylike manner or adjusting the lapel of your blazer. No. I mean full on emptying your bladder (while trying to keep the audible trickling to a minimum) or taking a dump (really softly of course). Going to a public washroom is awkward enough, let alone going to an office washroom and running into colleagues. It makes for awkward eye shuffling and hasty retreats into cubicles. "Hi.." "Hi..Washroom party!" ".... yeah..."
No. This is not the place for conversation unless you're my best friend (and that's not okay either; my best friends just happen to be really gross people with no sense of boundaries.) or my mother ( likewise with the boundaries. "But why do I have to leave the room when you're changing? I have no wish to look at you. I'm reading, and this bed is comfy and I CARRIED YOU AROUND IN MY UTERUS YOUNG LADY." No mom, just no).
It is not okay to ask me when my last day of work is when I taking a leak. It is not okay to compliment my haircut when I have clearly been inside the washroom for longer than 3 minutes, and it is definitely not okay to discuss The Nutcracker with me over a plastic door with farts from adjoining cubicles for background music. Go away. And come back when I'm presentable, without any toilet paper in a 100 mile radius and preferably bring donuts.

3 comments:

Tangled up in blue... said...

Haha aww you're one of those people! :D I actually had a friend who was so self-conscious about going to the washroom, she'd call her bowel movements 'ablutions' and whenever she returned from the washroom would for some strange reason, announce 'Excuse me, I was answering nature's call.' and give this really tight uncomfortable grimace-y smile.

We couldn't all help but burst into laughter at that. :D

But really, what is washroom etiquette anyway? I mostly restrain myself to a once-over and a nod to acknowledge presences. That's the extent of it. :D

Tangled up in blue... said...

And you're counting these rants, aren't you? ;)

R said...

Hahahah arre I'm not shy about 'ablutions'. At one point I'd always announce to my mum and bro "I need to pee" and stare at them blankly for a good one minute before they would be like "SO GO PEE!". But I'm uncomfortable with someone carrying out a conversation with me while I'm taking a dump. Particularly at work. And what you said- that, THAT is washroom etiquette. GET WITH IT PEOPLE. The washroom is not a watering hole!
Also, no man. But I rant so much, I estimated a ludicrously large number.