Ok WHAAAT?

i don't know what to write. i will probably delete this post later, but for now im trashing my own blog. more clutter. there is SOO much clutter everywhere. cleaning up room is pointless cuz brother transforms it into a seedy weedy jungle within a day. JONGLI bachha i tell you! but this is the last month in which im sharing a room, so itisokay. for now. clutter in life also. lesson # 1: learn to let go. will do, will do, doing. everything is in future tense by about EXACTLY 5 minutes. lethAAARGY. like some monster slowly creeping up and then LOOK BEHIND YOU! but it's already eaten you up and you're in its digestive sys-TUM. look, look, salivary amylase aka SPIT!! look, look trypsin, looklook, emulsification. im a biochem student, yuss i am.
epiphanies happen. good family weekend happens. this includes piu. mother's birthday happens. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! i put this in caps because the more significant event on 15th in household was mamma's birthday. more important in the grand scheme of things, heehee, snicker. cousin sister visits after a year, all of four years old, twirling and singing, making me teach her ballet. i decide to call her aisha and consequently have to spend the ext two hours dancing with her and singing "Suno Aisha" from that movie. Whatta bakwaas movie that. Side effect # 1. want to PARTAY! Side effect # 2. Want to get hot body and wear high heels and Chanel. Side Effect # 3. Want cute guy with a dimple. This means YOU. Abhay Deol, DUH.
timeisrunningout. and before you know it i'll be at the end of this sentence. and before you know it i'll be at the end of summer. and before you know it, i'll be far far away. but before that come mundane important things like finances and cooking and packing. and goodbyes.
i've become FAAAT. like its not even funny, i fit into mamma's clothes. and i struggle to fit into jeans. MUM calls me football now, and when That happens you know you're ear-deep in shit. but still i eat- biriyani, yummy egg curry from alladin. orgasmic kulfi faluda from ganguram. luchi cholar daal breakfast. kochuri and cholaar dal at dakhineswar. creamy chingri maacher malai curry and dhone pata dawa chicken and mutton kheema  kabab and orange stick ice cream and butterscotch ice cream and pepsi and chicken pakoda and musurir daal with halka lebu and tomato'r chutney at tuku aunty, deep-dia's. black forest cake, chocolate mud cake, R-maach, eilish maach and chicken curry.payesh and mutton patties. then momo's with piping hot light soup, chilli sauce and stir fried pasta with shrimp. bacardi. red wine. at shoma pishi's. all this over the weekend. friday, saturday, sunday. BYAAS. i am turning into Putu.
everything is going Nanana when it should really be Hahaha. i think i'm getting contacts today. i think i'm probably writing like someone else, but randomness is comforting the way an old fuzzy blanket is comforting, the way an old good-friend-ex is comforting, the way a soft fluffy pillow is. i have two new books to read, that i've wanted to- On Beauty by Zadie Smith, and Vine of Desire by Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni. I reread Dorian Gray, did not help the dissatisfaction. I have friends waiting for me at JU but i don't even know why i go there. something is missing, but it's going away, it's okay. i shall drag butt off to take long shower. then Ponds powder and the Freshness. i love you Blog. I'm sorry I don't have much to say.