new year, new beginnings, a mixture of new and old aspirations- perhaps moulded and twisted to fit better.
ma left today morning. in the hustle bustle of packing and running and where'smyposter, omgthechabi! and SO much luggage, there was no time to be sad.
return to waterloo via the greyhound got me tearing up a little- as i watched the toronto skyline recede further into the distance and the tall buildings and the canadian opera company transform into flat grey uniform suburbia, i felt my heart do a plop and sink sloooowly into my stomach. i think it got caught somewhere between there and my throat. been gulping back this stupid knot since.
waterloo is dead without the students and greeted me with pouring rain added to that time of the month. i struggled with my luggage and got home relatively easily. whooosh through the streets in a cab, not a human in sight outside. that's the problem with university towns- when the students leave, they die. makes me wonder how other people live there- non-students i mean. what on earth could possibly compel you to choose it over the hustle bustle and 1001 things to do in a big city? i just wasn't meant for peace, i suppose. gets on my nerves and makes me miserable.
home is fine, home is nice. turns out one of the room-mates is in with her boyfriend. 2 new ones this time- i'd be excited, but after the first year catastrophe with maddie, i've learned to keep my hopes down. this is quite a sad post for the first of jan, but it's not really. i mean this is just how life is. school starts the day after and then i'm hoping i'll be so consumed, i won't have time to think.
warm up the casserole of leftover birthday manghso-bhaat ma packed for me, talk on the phone with someone who keeps me sane and listen to drama from others' new years eves. mooch around reading half of an already read agatha christie, chat with a floundering friend who insists that she isn't, wish you could be half as self assured, refresh facebook. there is a boy there that you once had a crush on who wishes you very awkwardly. but that was a long time ago and things have changed now.
put off something you shouldn't put off, eat a bunch of cookies and baba ghanoush, read through 'hateship friendship courtship loveship marriage' that you were very excited to buy, let it enhance your vague disquiet, nap fitfully. wake up.
the best is yet to come.
return to waterloo via the greyhound got me tearing up a little- as i watched the toronto skyline recede further into the distance and the tall buildings and the canadian opera company transform into flat grey uniform suburbia, i felt my heart do a plop and sink sloooowly into my stomach. i think it got caught somewhere between there and my throat. been gulping back this stupid knot since.
waterloo is dead without the students and greeted me with pouring rain added to that time of the month. i struggled with my luggage and got home relatively easily. whooosh through the streets in a cab, not a human in sight outside. that's the problem with university towns- when the students leave, they die. makes me wonder how other people live there- non-students i mean. what on earth could possibly compel you to choose it over the hustle bustle and 1001 things to do in a big city? i just wasn't meant for peace, i suppose. gets on my nerves and makes me miserable.
home is fine, home is nice. turns out one of the room-mates is in with her boyfriend. 2 new ones this time- i'd be excited, but after the first year catastrophe with maddie, i've learned to keep my hopes down. this is quite a sad post for the first of jan, but it's not really. i mean this is just how life is. school starts the day after and then i'm hoping i'll be so consumed, i won't have time to think.
warm up the casserole of leftover birthday manghso-bhaat ma packed for me, talk on the phone with someone who keeps me sane and listen to drama from others' new years eves. mooch around reading half of an already read agatha christie, chat with a floundering friend who insists that she isn't, wish you could be half as self assured, refresh facebook. there is a boy there that you once had a crush on who wishes you very awkwardly. but that was a long time ago and things have changed now.
put off something you shouldn't put off, eat a bunch of cookies and baba ghanoush, read through 'hateship friendship courtship loveship marriage' that you were very excited to buy, let it enhance your vague disquiet, nap fitfully. wake up.
the best is yet to come.
1 comment:
why didnt i find you before?
Calcutta exactly feels like that. It just fits you so damn well.
:)
Post a Comment